Mortgages That Mean More / www.georgelinney.com

Reflections on a lending fail - 2021

I was reflecting on a client from 2021 – one of the greatest years in mortgage lending history, but a very difficult year to win purchase offers if participants stubbornly believed that they should be able to pay less and purchase a home. Homes in 2021 weren't on sale as if it were a yard sale and you could get a deal because the seller was desperate. Sellers had the upper hand and if you wanted their home, you had to submit a competitive offer.

I worked all year with clients who were supported by a realtor that I adore. I wrote 12 pre-approval letters and finally the realtor and I decided it was time to move on. The clients simply would not take the realtors advice on what it would take to purchase a home.

The client said curtly as the relationship was dismantling, with a somewhat accusatory and entitled tone, George, I thought we could do this indefinitely? (meaning keep making offers and have me keep producing pre-approval letters). In theory, that's true, we could keep going forever, but who was winning in the deal? The clients weren't getting a home because they would never offer at a competitive price. The professionals in the relationship were spending countless hours with no success. We sort of all fired each other. It hurt. The realtor and I still work together and commiserated on this one for many a phone call.

I felt part of the blame directed at me. George, I thought we could do this indefinitely. Most of those letters were prepared on weekends, time spent away from family. That's okay, but I wish the effort had been acknowledged. The realtor spent far more time than I did and had nothing to show for it.

But you know what? We all want work validated that will mostly go unnoticed. It's called work for a reason and it's toil and some of it does not bear fruit.

Keep rolling the ball forward.

While this was an opportunity missed, 2021 was the best working and earning year of my nearly 30 years of receiving a paycheck. All will be well.

Here are those pre-approval letters that never ended in a contract:

begin again

I still think often of my first two closings. I started a career in lending in March of 2018. I needed something riskier and that played more to my skill set. I needed something more entrepreneurial. I approached a friend that had a career in the business and I found a way into the industry. Most of 2018 was spent training and learning. I only closed two loans in 2018. One in Durham in October. One in Garner in November. The first has turned out to be a top referral partner (it was their personal residence). The second is highlighted in the photograph below. 

There is no way to go back to the beginning. I was so proud of these first two deals. I was at both signings. This was pre-covid and you could sit alongside the borrowers and the realtor and the lawyers. I was ecstatic to collect my very first commission checks. So many people helped me make those first deals go through when I had no idea how to make the process go. Even now, so many people help from start to finish. I depend on a team, some of whom I never even meet.

Now, I am cynical and greedy and dissatisfied with a month with less than 10 closings. Gratitude and deep-breathing is a daily discipline.

You can't go home. You can't go back to the beginning. But you can remember.

 

Nobody Smokes in Church

Really nice spot on design theory here by Danielle Crane based on:

Empathize
Define
Ideate
Test
Prototype

Have a look: https://vimeo.com/293368389

Listening for snow falling on snow

The last two days in Durham, North Carolina have produced roughly a foot of snow. That is a lot in any NC winter storm. That's a whole lot in early December.

Today, the second day of flakes falling from the sky, had me pulling from the shelf Robert J. Wicks excellent book on Spiritual Landscape, Snow Falling on Snow.

I am struck by a section called Listening (page 41):

Wicks writes: "One of the reasons listening is a rare gift today is that so many of us (possibly because of our anxiety) strive too hard to do something useful or to be immediately helpful in some tangible way. The problem is that in the process of doing this we fail to really listen to a person's pain. In becoming stressed out ourselves over what we need to do to be "successful" with someone in need, we often fail to realize the pure value that is listening, in and of itself. Furthermore, when we're not observing the situation for what it really is, we not only miss a chance for understanding, but occasionally may even make the situation worse by acting too impulsively."

Today is a great day to listen to the sound of snow falling on snow. That's no easy work. There is really not much sound, but then there is. Other sounds become quite distinct if we will listen for a while longer. 

www.churchto5k.com

Learn more about an October 2018 training program with three face to face hour long sessions in Durham, NC with a culminating 5k in Chapel Hill, NC on October 27, 2018.

Learn more at: www.churchto5k.com

Powerful Tips to Help You Overcome Addiction When It Seems Impossible

Photo via Pexels

a guest article by Adam Cook | Addictionhub.org | information@addictionhub.org

No matter how hopeless you may feel, overcoming substance abuse is possible. One of the hardest steps is already over once you’ve recognized that you have a problem and expressed a desire to change. However, it can be daunting to think about getting through life without the aid of substances. Kicking addiction for good involves caring for your mind and body like you never have before. You'll need patience, support, and motivation to change. But eventually, you'll be able to feel in control of your life again.

Adopt Healthy Lifestyle Habits

How you treat your physical body plays a very important role in how you feel emotionally. If you’re prone to stress, anxiety, or depression, you may benefit from making some key lifestyle changes. Eating well and exercising regularly can helpbalance your moodand provide a motivating energy boost. For example, getting active results in a release of endorphins in your body, reducing your perceptions of pain in a similar way to opiates. This is why professionals often recommend that people in addiction recovery engage in regular physical activity. Getting enough sleep can also help settle problems with anxiety and promote healing in your brain. Try to stick to a regular sleep schedule and adopt goodsleep hygiene habits.

Seek Appropriate Treatment

Many people try one type of addiction treatment and give up when it doesn’t appear to be helping them. However, there are a huge variety of substance abuse treatments available. It's important that you find one that works for you, even if it means going through a couple ofdifferent treatmentsand facing disappointment.

For example, if you also suffer from mental health problems like anxiety and depression, you may benefit from treatments focused on mental therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) ordialectical behavior therapy(DBT) are effective in treating these mental disorders.

Other options for substance abuse treatment include group therapy sessions, holistic therapy, religious programs, gender-specific programs, and programs catered specifically to professionals and executives. These treatments can better meet the needs of individuals in different situations, such as professionals who need to remain discreet about their treatment. Similarly,holistic therapiesmay better suit people who value spirituality and whole-body healing. Inpatient rehabsare also valuable to people who need additional structure and support. This is a great way to completely remove yourself from temptation and triggering environments.

Stop Relying on Willpower Alone

Stopping addiction and changing bad habits is almost impossible with simple willpower. In fact, according toPsychology Today, addiction is caused by chemical changes in the brain, not simply a weakness of the mind. Although willpower can help you make the initial leap of discarding your abused substances and declaring your intentions to quit, it might not hold up well to withdrawal symptoms and cravings later on. A strong support network can help you when your own motivations fall short. Find friends, family, and peers who can be there to keep you on track throughout your treatment. On top of this, you'll need to make some lifestyle changes and develop new coping systems to avoid relapse.

Be Kind to Yourself

No matter what kind of difficult addiction recovery you’re facing, you can make it easier by being nicer to yourself.The Fix explains how important it is that recovering addicts learn to love themselves so they can stop self-destructive behaviors. You must find ways to stop thinking hateful, abusive thoughts about yourself. Instead, try toacknowledge your emotionswithout judgment. When you have negative thoughts, call a friend or therapist and talk to them about it. This can help you stay positive and avoid reaching for substances to numb your feelings. 

Importantly, patience is a key aspect of substance abuse recovery. Not only for the ex-addict but for their support network as well. Friends and families need to have patience and understand that sobriety can take a long time to achieve. In the end, full and long-term treatment will lead to the most successful recovery results.